Half-Assed Runner

If a PR falls in a race and no one records it…

God I hate 6am…especially on a Sunday.  I got up, showered, and made sure that my son did the same.  We headed south to participate in the race for a nearly unpronounceable German "founders festival".  I was running the 5K and the Monkey was running a 1/2 mile kids run.

The weather was very nice.  55 degrees with a light, intermittant breeze.  For some reason the humidity was at 96%.  It definitely did not feel that humid.

There was a pretty good turnout for the run.  So much so that the start was delayed (only about 5 minutes) to allow everyone to finish registration.  I had pre-registered so this was not a problem.  The race shirts were nice, funky green (white for kids) technical shirts.  The race was chip timed using B-tags (the "chip" is in the bib and is disposable) and the bibs were printed with the race name.

I had no expectations for this run.  I was just hoping to have a fun run and that my son have the same experience.  I lined up very near the back once again.  After a nearly inaudible announcement by the race director, the starting pistol was fired and we were off.  I waited until I actually crossed the starting line to start RunMeter.

The first mile went by quickly.  There were at least two nice downhill sections.  On the second of these, I passed about 20 runners by blasting down the hill on the left.  Of course, I slowed up substantially as that hill lead right into another incline.  The splits were well marked with large, white mile markers.  Shortly after passing the first of these, RunMeter announced (it always seems to measure long miles) that my pace was 9:02/mile.  Looking at my splits after the run, it was actually 8:59/mile.  Another RunMeter idiosyncracy is that it announces the splits slower than it actually measures them.  Anyhoo…I was flying.  Well, flying is relative when talking about my slow ass.  Still, my first sub-9 minute mile.    This was also accomplished with the usual glacial start and jockeying for position.

Mile 2 was a bit up and down.  I settled into a slower pace and picked a runner to follow.  I had (as usual) forgetten my heart rate monitor.  I would have been interested in seeing my heart rate because I felt pretty relaxed (as much as I ever am during a run).  We got out of the downtown area and I saw the water stop up ahead.  Right behind it was a big ass hill.  The course description mentioned "two or three challenging hills".  I walked through the water stop.  After about 15 seconds of walking and drinking, I started up the incline.

The hill was long, but the climb was not too steep.  As this was an out and back course and I could see some of the faster runners coming down the hill in the other direction, I started looking for the turnaround.  I have RunMeter set to announce every half mile.  The last announcement I remembered was at the 1 mile mark which seemed to have been at least 5 minutes ago, so I was waiting for the 1.5 mile announcement which generally coincides very closely with the halfway (turnaround) point.  This was the only part of the race that sucked.  I looked ahead and the turnaround was at the top of the hill.  I reached the turnaround and decided that I must be running very slowly because the time between the 1 mile mark and the 1.5(5) turnaround point seemed to be closer to 10 minutes than the 5(ish) minutes I expected.  I reached the top of the hill and took my second, short walk break before hitting the second half of the run.  I looked at RunMeter and it showed 1.89 miles.  WTF?  Not only had I missed the 1.5 mile announcement, but it looked like my 3.1 mile run was going to be close to 4 miles.

My mind went back to the race director’s announcement.  Although I couldn’t hear most of it, I did recall him saying that the turnaround point had been moved back 20 meters to make it a "true 5K".  After running a long 5K last weekend, I was sure I was looking at an "ultra" 5K today.  If RunMeter was right, I would be running nearly 4 miles.  Crap.  With my speedy first mile, I was hoping to be in a position to PR.

I started down the hill and I was definitely not in my happy place anymore.  Oh well, it was a nice day and I was going to enjoy the decline after the long climb.  Shortly after I started running again, I saw the 2 mile sign.  That meant that the course was measured accurately.  The halfway point must have been the water stop (that’s probably why I didn’t hear the 1.5 mile announcement – I had removed my headphones briefly at that point) and – although this was an out and back course – the second leg must take a different route.  Sure enough, when we got back down to the bottom of the hill, instead of going straight we veered left.  I would have noticed on the way up the hill if I had not been paying so much attention to the water stop and hill.

I had settled into a comfortable pace at this point.  I did a little mental math and calculated that I was near the 2.5 mile mark.  I was determined to run the rest of the route since I could have easily skipped the last walk stop.  I was now in a group of about eight runners and decided to keep pace with them.

The last leg had plenty of small rises and falls.  Much of it was spent on a paved trail.  After what must have been around the 2.75 mile point, the route became mostly uphill.  I was actually moved ahead of the group I was pacing with and was on my own between them and another small group ahead of me.  The last bit was a pretty steep uphill climb.  I turned the corner, saw the 3 mile sign as well as the crowd near the finish line and started sprinting.  Even running uphill, I blasted past the entire group of runners that were ahead of me before crossing the timing mats [Is this a dick move?].  I caught a glimpse of the clock and it read 28 something.  Holy crap.  I had set a PR. I went to hit stop on RunMeter…but it was already stopped.  Crap.  I must have hit the stop button when bringing the app to focus on my iPhone preparing for the final sprint. Nuts.  Oh well, I would just have to wait for the official timing to see what my official time was.

I grabbed a sport drink and a banana before locating my son.  The race was well stocked with after-race goodies.  There were apples, oranges, bananas along with water and zero calorie sport drinks.  There was also an assortment of breakfast bars.

We waited until the last 5K runners finished before the kids 1/2 mile run began.  The boys ran first.  My son did much better than he had anticipated.  Just like his old man, he finished in the middle of the pack, but was happy with the results.  He even received a sweet medal for his efforts.

We headed back home.  I knew that the rest of my day was shot as I was on call and Hurricane Irene was taking out a number of our east coast networks.

So what was my official time?  There was no official time!  Not for me.  For whatever reason, my results did not show up.  According to the results…I didn’t run at all. 

I was able to identify the last guy I passed and I finished just in front of him (I passed him about 5 feet from the mats).  He finished with a 28:35, so my time was most likely 28:34.  This is a PR by just over 30 seconds.    Not bad for a relatively hilly course on a run which I had no expectations other than to finish.  Too bad there’s no official record of it.  Not a blazing time by anyone’s standards, but it’s 4.5 minutes faster than my first 5K…which was only two months ago.  At this pace, I’ll be running sub-20 minute 5Ks by January. 

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