Half-Assed Runner

I ran five miles.  Let me restate that: I JUST RAN FIVE MOTHER-JAMMIN MILES.  

I started out the day doing what I do most mornings: running late and pissing off my wife.  The race was in a nearby city (if you want to stretch the definition of city) and started at 8:30.  We had preregistered and it’s a small event, so I was not in a hurry to get out the door to get there early.  Unfortunately, I had no idea where the run was starting other than “at the ballpark”.  We rolled into the registration area to pick up our bibs and shirts just in time to hear “runners…five minutes”.  I ran the shirts back to our car while my wife went to the bathroom (not before shooting me the stink eye for being late).  I jogged back to the car.  By the time I got there, I was wheezing.  WTF?  Here I am getting ready to run five miles (which is still a long ways for me) and I’m winded after jogging a few hundred yards?  I jogged about halfway back to the starting area, walking the rest so as not to be breathing heavy.

We lined at the very back of the field.  There looked to be about 150 – 200 runners.  Just before the start about a third of those runners filtered out as they were running the 1 mile fun run, which would start after the 5 mile run began.  This run was part of Red Rooster Days and there was a runner dressed up as a big, red rooster.

The race director made an announcement over a bull horn.  I could only understand about 10% of his words.  I did hear “big hill near the finish” and a number of the runners groaned.  Shortly after, a gun fired and we were…standing still.  Someone had fired a gun, but it was not the race director.  I thought it was a well played joke and something that would probably not happen in Minneapolis.  Soon after, a horn sounded and we were off.

Since I was in the very back of the pack and I was starting slower than normal (plus the run started on wide streets), I didn’t have to do a lot of zig-zagging and passing over the first half mile.  I pretty quickly fell into a pace and ended up in a pocket of runners with whom I would stay for most of the race.

My goals for this race were to finish and to try to break 55 minutes.  I have only run 5 miles or more a half dozen times in my life.  This distance to me is what I imagine a half marathon is to most runners: a challenging, but “doable” distance.  I was buoyed with some confidence because I’ve been doing long runs over the last few weeks.  My most recent long run was 8 miles and my fallback long run (every other week) is 4 to 4.5 miles.  So I’ve had some practice with longer runs and 5 miles doesn’t seem like some unobtainable distance anymore.  Of course, I’m using the Galloway run/walk/run method on these long runs, so my times are far from blazing.  I intended to use the same method on this run (I run .5 miles then walk briefly) but I was hoping to not start the walk breaks until at least 1.5 miles into the run.

The weather was beautiful.  It was in the mid fifties.  Much cooler than any race I’ve run so far.  The sun was out, but for whatever reason we were enjoying an October morning in early September.

The first mile was a bit tricky.  My body slowly woke up.  I’m a caffeine addict and had planned to grab some gogo juice in a can on the way to the run.  My tardiness crushed that plan.  I managed to down a large glass of coffee with ice cubes.  Even though I crave caffeine, I’ve stopped drinking coffee.  I’m not sure why, I just don’t enjoy it much anymore (except in the winter).  I could feel the coffee sloshing around in my stomach as I ran.  Wonderful.  While I wasn’t exactly struggling, I was not feeling as well as I normally do at the start of a run.  I kept thinking, “this is not your day”.

The run spilled onto a paved path and even if I had wanted to pass my pacers, I would have had trouble as they were taking up the entire path.  A few runners eventually did pass them but they maintained their running wall.  At the 1 mile mark there was a race volunteer shouting out split times.  All I heard was “minutes” and then “4, 5, 6, 7…” as I ran past.  I had begun the race without listening to my iPhone (I was trying out new headphones (earbuds) and they were a pain to put in while running) for the first bit of the race and had not heard my pace from Runmeter (it announces it every .5 miles) so I had no idea how fast I was running.  It felt like I was running a 10 minute or slower pace.  Soon after, Runmeter announced that I was running at a 9:28 pace.  That was faster than I thought and made me feel pretty good.  I wanted to “bank” time early in the race so I could counteract my slow pace and walking on the back-end of the run.

We made a left off the path and onto a rural highway.  Around this time (1.25 – 1.5 miles in) I was still feeling a little shaky, but running much better.  I had hit a sweet pace and was mentally digging in for the remainder of the run.  I decided then that I would walk at the first water station at the 2 mile mark and start my run/walk/run strategy at that point.  The runners had all spread out at this point.  I was still pacing behind a group of five runners.  We started on a slight downhill and something happened to me that has never happened before in a race: I felt great.  I was out running on a beautiful day with cornfields and forests around me and I was feeling strong and running at an enjoyable pace.  I wasn’t stressed out at all and I was confident of reaching my goals.  I decided to scrap the run/walk/run plan and run as far as I could without stopping. 

As I approached the water stop at the 2 mile mark, I decided to run through it.  I wasn’t thirsty at all and I knew that there was another water stop at the 4 mile mark.  The pack became a little jumbled and I actually passed a few people that were walking though the stop.  I lost one of my pacers, but she sprinted back to regain her spot (she was running with a friend).  I was still feeling good and since I usually break down and walk at the 2 mile point, I decided my next goal was to try to run until at least the 3.1 mile point.  This would be the equivalent of running a 5K with no stops – something I’ve only done once before.

Just before the 3 mile mark, we hit the first of the big hills.  It was a long, brute of a country hill.  I knew that I would need to conquer it if I wanted to reach my 5K goal, so I powered through it.  I passed a runner on the way up the hill.  This would be the last runner I would pass until the end of the race.  At the top of the hill there was a family cheering on the runners.  There were actually quite a few locals doing the same along the course.  Pretty cool support for a small race.

I was going to make my 5K goal.  At that point, I decided that my next goal would be to run until at least the 3.5 mile mark.  The longest I’ve ever run without stopping is about 3.25 miles.  I was still feeling pretty good (that hill did take a bite out of my butt) and wanted to use this good mojo to set a personal record.  The course was flat for a short while after the big hill then it took a sharp downhill dive.  I was thanking the running gods for the downhill but soon started cursing them when I saw that this downhill was just before a hill that made the last one look like a speed bump in comparison.  

Normally I lean slightly forward on downhills and let gravity do its magic.  I actually kept the brakes on for this downhill because I didn’t want to fly past my pacers only to have them pass me on the monster hill.  My goal was to get as far up this hill as possible without walking.  I remembered the race director stating that there was a big hill at the end of the course so I figured since this hill (we were around the 3.5 mark at this point) was not mentioned, that the next hill would be even bigger.  I had reached my 3.5 mile goal and was resigned to the fact that I would be walking a portion of this hill.  Just before the incline started we reached the second water stop.  I was going to walk through this one, but they were handing out small bottles of water.  I was able to complete the aquatic baton exchange with the race volunteer and kept running (at a slower pace) through the water stop.  I wasn’t very thirsty and I was only at the 75% level of complete sweat drenching, but I figured that I would drink a bit of the water and then save the rest for my inevitable hill walking stage.  The water was really cold.  I managed to down about a 1/4 of the small bottle.  Then I did something I don’t normally do: I tossed it to the side of the road.  I’m the chump that normally crushes his paper cup and stores it in my pocket rather than throwing it into the grass.  I couldn’t do that with a plastic bottle so my water bottle joined its other abandoned buddies on the side of the road.

On to the monster hill.  With the downhill portion and the water stop, our small group had bunched up again.  There were the two women running together, followed by a woman in red, and then me.  We started up the hill.  In my head I heard “slight forward bend, head up, keep your pace but shorten your stride”.  I have to hand it to the two women in front of me, they powered through this hill without losing their stride or pace.  I kept chugging and actually swung to the left to pass the lady in red (yes, that stupid song jumped into my head) in what would have been the slowest passing move in history.  I was not able to pass her, so we paced each other side by side for the last 1/4 of Mt. Everest.  By the time we hit the top of the hill we were both chugging along a speed at which a tortoise would have screamed at us for being too slow.  I fell in behind her again and for the first time in the race, I felt tired.  

The race continued on another path.  At this point, it was just me and the lady in red.  The two friends had crushed the hill and were quite a ways ahead of us at this point.  I could not see anyone behind me.  I continued at a slow pace and eventually felt a bit of energy return.  The splits were written on the pavement along with words of encouragement.  “4 miles. Way to go! Almost there!”  I had run further than ever before with no stops and I had conquered two big hills to get here.  I knew that there was a monster hill waiting for me before the end of the race, but if I could keep my legs moving I might have a shot at running the entire 5 miles.

Shortly after the 4 mile marker, Runmeter chimed in with my pace.  I was at a 9:58 pace.  Those hills (that last one was about .5 miles long) had eaten into my pace.  I decided that my new goal was to finish the run in under 50 minutes – damn the upcoming hill.

I paced behind the lady in red until about the 4.5 mile point.  We were near the start of the race.  In fact we were pretty much perpendicular with the ballpark.  The rest of the route just ran back to the starting area in a loop through nearby neighborhoods.  This meant no monster hill was possible.  The hill at the 3.5 mile mark must have been the beast described by the race director.  Holy crap!  I only had to run another half mile over flat pavement to complete this race.  I had vowed that I would not blow by the lady in red near the finish line since I had been using her as a pacer, but nothing was stopping me from passing her with this much real estate left to the finish line.  I passed her and quickened my pace slightly.  I had no idea what my time was at this point, but I wanted to beat 50 minutes for the race.

I was completely alone at this point.  I followed the race markers through a few turns in a residential area.  Finally I made a right and could see the finish line.  I picked up my pace some more and surprised myself by sprinting full out for the last 100 yards.  I glanced at the clock and saw 48:30 as I finished.  I had done it.  I had run five miles without stopping and I had done it in less than 50 minutes.

I grabbed a water and waited for my wife to finish.  She is a slow runner, but she has no problem running long distances.  She hasn’t been running much this summer and I figured that she would finish in the 55 – 60 minute range.  She surprised me by finishing about 5 minutes after me.  She told me that she walked twice – which is not normal for her – once at the first water stop and once on the monster hill.  She also told me that during the first half mile or so she noticed a car behind her.  She was getting pissed off that some stupid driver was driving on the race route until she realized that this was the “sweeper car”.  She was the very last person in the race.   She didn’t end up in that position, but it was the first time she had started so far back in the pack and at such a slow pace.

I had a very good time on this run.  I set a couple of personal records.  I know that I am capable of running 5 miles without stopping, so in future 5K runs I can use this knowledge to win the mental battle and keep my legs moving when my mind wants to stop.