Half-Assed Runner

For the second Saturday in a row I go up early and drove north to the Saint Cloud area.  Just like last week, the temps were cool for this time of year, but it was threatening to rain.  I swear that I received the same trivial dusting of pathetic rain drops during the same stretch of my drive.

I got to the location of the race, parked, checked in, took my shirt back to my car, and still had about 40 minutes to kill.  The 5K took place entirely within a park.  I walked around a bit and checked out some of the course.  A number of runners were jogging around the park to warm up.  There seemed to be a larger percentage of “serious” runners warming up for this race.  I’m still not up to running before I, well, run.  After walking around a bit, I messed with my playlist and read my email.

Soon enough, we were lined up for the start.  I positioned myself in the next to last row of runners.  The race director mentioned that there would be a couple of loops through the park and which way to turn based on the color of the marker.  I didn’t pay much attention because it was incredibly unlikely that I would end up leading the race and having to navigate the course on my own.    The race began with a canon being fired (pretty loud and cool).  We were off.

I thought that I had started off at a pretty decent pace.  I passed quite a few runners before we made the first turn into the trails.  It started to sprinkle just a bit once we hit the trail.  I was hoping that it would continue as I welcomed the cooling rain, but after only a minute or so the rain stopped.  So no rain, but the humidity was now even higher than the pre-race 87%.  Joy.

Each mile, there was a volunteer with a stop watch shouting out split times to the runners.  At the 1 mile mark, I was told 9:40 something.  RunMeter (as it’s prone to do) clocked me at a slower 10:13.

I was still feeling good at this point.  The terrain was definitely varied on this run.  We started out on a paved street, then hit the trails.  The trails were paved, but not flat.  They looked like someone squeezed out a very large toothpaste tube containing blacktop and large rocks.  It was slightly uncomfortable to run on, and the sides were definitely sloped down a bit.  This was the first race (and only the third time altogether) that I wore my Nano Zigs.  A number of times the course changed to grass as we ran across fields.  There was even a bridge crossing over a small creek.  I should have been enjoying the scenery, but for whatever reason I was not liking this run.  I could blame any number of things: the humidity, my shoes, the course, but it just came down to me just not having “it” today.

I felt that I was running okay at this point though.  I had passed a number of runners near the start of the race and I had only been passed by one runner since then.  There was a decent distance between me and the next group of runners behind me.  I was pacing behind a woman since just before the first mile marker.  This is something that I get a little self-conscience about.  I don’t want to be the creepy, sweaty, heavy-breathing dude following some random woman during the race.

Around the 2 mile mark, I started thinking about walking.  This is the same point that I broke down and walked on my last race.  I regretted it last time, but this time I was mentally not into running the whole race.  Pissed off at myself, I took my first walk break at the 1.94 mile mark.  RunMeter had me at a torrid 10:49 pace up to that point.    It was pretty unlikely that I was going to break the 30 minute barrier on this run even without the pathetic walk break.

I walked for about 20 seconds and then started up again.  This was enough time to allow my “pacer” to get well ahead of me and for the group of runners behind me to catch up and pass me.  If my last race was any indication, then this would be my only walk break.  Unfortunately, the hill at the 2 mile mark had other ideas.

I actually laughed out loud and muttered “fuck me” when I saw the hill.  I should mention here that the course consisted of two loops.  After the first loop brought us back to the starting point, we headed down the trail again, but shortly afterwards were directed to the left.  Goodbye open fields and cute little bridge.  Hello big fucking hill.  At this point I was pretty sure that the Marquis de Sade had plotted this course.  Since I had just taken a breather, I began powering up the hill.  I made it 95% of the way, then took my second walk break.  I don’t know what mental barrier makes me  stop near the top of big hills, but I gave in and took a quick break before resuming running down the other side of the hill.

To be fair, that hill ate a few runners.  I actually passed a couple of people on the hill.  For whatever reason, after about a minute after the hill, I stopped again.  I was disgusted with myself at this point.  When I resumed running, I was in an interesting position: completely alone.  The path (now gravel) was winding enough that I could not see anyone in front or – or behind – me.  I “treated” myself to one more brief walk break (for a total of four stops) before scraping some measure of self-dignity and running the remaining .3 miles.

I finished just over 32 minutes.  I was wiped out and disgusted with my “performance”.  I had managed to turn in my second worst time ever [okay, being as this was only my 5th 5K ever, and I had only been running 5Ks for a just over a month – I may have been a bit harsh on myself]. I think what really got to me was that I like running trails and should have enjoyed this run.  I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will never be a fast runner, but I really figured that a gym monkey like myself should be able to handle a few hills and terrain changes.

Oh well, I have to keep in mind that just a few months ago I would have never believed that I could run 3.1 miles with *only* four stops.  What seemed like a huge disappointment today, would actually have been a great run at the beginning of the summer.

This race is put on by a local running group (the Saint Cloud River Runners) and was very well organized.  There were plenty of volunteers manning the course and a decent turnout (about 120 runners).  The race was CHEAP.  It only cost $10 ($15 the week of the race) and included a t-shirt.  No chip timing or goodie bags, but the t-shirt is my favorite race shirt so far, even though I generally don’t like cotton shirts.  I would definitely recommend this race…as long as you keep that stupid hill at the 2 mile mark in mind..

Tomorrow I will run yet another race.  This time it will be a 4K on the paved streets of Minneapolis with my family.