Half-Assed Runner

For the second year in a row I ran the Monster Dash 10 Mile race.  Last year this was probably my happiest running experience as I ran the entire 10 miles without walking which was my longest continuous run ever.  Since then I’ve run a bunch of half marathons and even managed to finish a marathon.  My longest continuous run now stands around 18.5 miles.  But the Monster Dash 10 Mile run remains a bright spot as I never thought I could run double-digit miles without stopping.

This year I debated either skipping the Monster Dash or running the half marathon instead.  I managed to meet my quota of 12 half marathons this year and I’m burned out on the distance.  My wife decided last year that she wanted to do the Monster Dash and I convinced her to try the 10 mile distance.  I finally decided to run it with her.  I offered to pace her, but she decided she didn’t need/want me helping her, so I was free to run my own race.  This worked out great as I needed a “win” after disappointing results in my last few races.

I got to skip the expo this year as my wife picked up our packets.  The jacket is pretty nice this year and I like it better than last year’s jacket.  It still has the “woman’s zipper”, but fits well and feels good.

Race morning rolled around and neither of us were too excited to run.  We’ve both been suffering from mild head colds.  Plus it was 24 degrees when we woke up.  I told my wife that it was the same last year as it was 26 degrees at the start of the race last year.  It was actually a bit warmer (30 degrees) this year, but did not warm up during the course of the race as much as last year.

We hit the road and instead of trying to use 94 to get to the start of the race, we decided to attack it from the south.  Great idea, except for the fact that 494 went to one lane around the airport.  I wasn’t panicking because were being driven by a friend of ours and would be dropped off with plenty of time to get the race.  In fact, that’s what happened: we got dropped off about 1.5 miles from the start.  I was wearing my manly tights with running shorts over them and a short-sleeved tech shirt.  I was wearing the Monster Dash jacket over the shirt.  I planned to leave the jacket, but I was too damn cold to do it.  I knew I would not be able to keep the jacket on the entire run, so I would have to tie it off around my waist.  My wife was in costume (I went as a “runner” again this year) with 4 layers.  She said later she got hot around mile 2, but was fine afterwards.  We obviously have different biological temperature regulation units. 

We got to the start line around 8:20.  I was shocked that there was plenty of room for runners to line up.  I decided to start with my wife so we lined up just in front of the 10 minute pacer.  The cumulative body heat of 10,000 runners warmed me up so that I probably could have done without the jacket.

Soon enough the race was underway.  We moved forward about 100 feet, then stopped dead.  I don’t know if Team Ortho did wave starts or not.  If so, we were in the first wave.  It took over 5 minutes of walking, but once we hit the starting mats we were able to start running immediately.

I stuck with my wife for the first half mile.  I figured that we were just under 10 minutes per mile as the pacers did not pass us.  I picked up the pace slightly to get past some large groups of runners.  I was surprised when Endomondo announced a 9:11 first mile.  It felt at least 30 seconds slower than that.  I was pretty happy to hear this pace as I wanted to run this race around a 9:20 pace.  A mile later, Endomondo told me that I clocked a 9:02 mile.

I felt like I was pushing just a tiny bit but felt fine.  The biggest issue was the jacket.  As I warmed up, I unzipped it more and more.  By mile 2, it was completely unzipped.  I would have to take it off and tie it around my waist.  Not a big deal, but it would kill time.  It didn’t really matter much as the first water stop was almost 3.5 miles into the race and I was getting pretty thirsty by that point.  I walked the entire stop and drank a cup of water and blue stuff.  This would be my slowest mile (9:29).

I was feeling great at this point and miles 5 and 6 were just under 9 minutes each.  I knew that the course was a gentle downhill, but last year I didn’t appreciate how beneficial that is.  After some hilly halfs this year, I was loving this course.

I went without music until mile 6.  The combination of the crowds and costumes kept my mind occupied.  I took a GU at the water stop around mile 6.5.  This was the only mistake I made.  I ate a flavor I hadn’t tried before: Mandarin Orange.  I figured that you can’t really mess up orange, but this thing tasted like medicine and ass.  Miles 6 through 9 were all run around a 9:15 pace.

I kept holding back a little bit as I wanted to make sure I had some energy left for the last mile.  There was only one hill of any significance and it was around mile 7.  I knew that the last half mile was downhill and fast, so I was saving my energy for that.  I felt great.  Nothing hurt, I was pushing the pace only slightly, and I was feeling much better after removing the jacket (hell, I was sweating in the 30 degree weather).

I didn’t see the mile marker for mile 9, but Endomondo announced it.  I toyed with really picking it up at this point, but I was feeling slightly tired and didn’t want to fizzle out prior to the end.  I told myself I would speed up after passing the giant inflatable rainbow bridge.  Unfortunately, that bridge was not on the course this year.  Rather unceremoniously, the 10 milers and half marathoners split and I could see the finish line.  I picked up my pace and finished with an 8:35 final mile.  The race clocked showed 1:37, so I wasn’t sure of my chip-time, but I was happy to see it as just south of 1:32.  I had shaved 10 minutes off of last year’s time and felt great.  It was nice to have a good race for the first time in quite some time.

I nabbed the standard Team Ortho food bag (banana, chips, mini salted nut roll).  I was a little disappointed that there was no bottled water (there were cups of water) and no foil blankets like last year.  Not a big deal as I had my jacket with me.  I saw the line for the buses to the half marathon finish area and was glad I didn’t have to wait in it this year.  I think that the bag check was at the half finish, so bag check would have been a waste (and a logistical nightmare) for me this year.

I walked back past the finish line and waited for my wife.  She had a great race as well and finish only a bit slower than I did last year.

We found our friends and our son and started walking back to the car.  Little did I know that this would be an almost 2 mile hike.  It was still just above freezing and I was cold as hell by the time we got to the car.  We did get to see the sweeper car and the last runner as she hit mile 8 [I would HATE to be the last runner as the sweeper was literally 15 feet behind her].

My wife wanted to head to the half marathon finish line to enjoy a beer.  I was shivering by this point even with the car’s heat cranked and I talked her out of it.  We decided to hit Coopers in Saint Louis Park as she could still get her free beer and I could avoid the crowds and hopefully warm up.  When we got to Coopers we were the only runners there.  By the time we left, there was a pretty long wait for tables as a bunch of Monster Dash runners (many from the 5K race in Minneapolis) had the same idea we did.  After three cups of coffee and some tomato basil soup, I was finally warm enough to drink my victory Guinness.

We had a great time at this race.  It’s a huge race (they announced 11,000 10 mile and half marathoners (but only 9400 finishers, so that might have been inflated/rounded up) and 3,000 5K runners (in Minneapolis)), but I feel it’s really well-organized.  The course is an absolute dream to run as it’s pretty and downhill or flat for 95% of the race (10 mile).  The swag is nice and so is the medal (I’m kind of burned out on the Team Ortho wedge medals though).  It’s a blast to see all of the crazy costumes and there is great crowd support as well.  I will probably do this race again next year.